Breastfeeding Across Cultures

The request to write about breastfeeding across cultures could not have come at a better time; I am on the beautiful island of Bali (not in one of the international big hotels, but a small local one) and I just spent two weeks on a small island in the Philippines before this. Both are tropical islands but with quite different cultures on the whole. How they treat babies is quite the same, however. Babies are carried by their mothers more or less all day and definitely share their beds at night. They are also breastfed when they are hungry, and start being offered solids at 6 months. They keep nursing until they are 2 years old. Although, mainly in the cities in the Philippines, some mothers start pabulum (a soft cereal) and bottles around three months, and more and more stop breastfeeding around six months. In both cultures it is not even a question if it is right to feed on demand and that babies sleep with their parents – it’s simply the way it is!

The Balinese culture is a special form of Hinduism and has many wonderful aspects, but let me concentrate on the babies. First of all, babies are considered a gift from  God. There are many ceremonies where baskets of flowers and other offerings are presented to the gods; the first one half-way through the pregnancy, to welcome the soul and to ask the gods to protect the baby and the mother, to keep them both well and healthy. The father reads to the unborn baby from the Mahabharata, an epic that tells about the fight between the good and the bad and encourages the ‘right way’. There are several ceremonies after birth, when the baby is  six days, then 42- days- old. There is always gratitude to the gods and praying for protection, well-being and health. The most important ceremony is held when the baby is six- months- old. Up to that age he or she is considered to be a god or goddess him or herself, in other words divine, and is not allowed to touch the floor. Babies are always carried, either by the mother, the father or another member of the family, young or old. At this important six months ceremony, always conducted by a priest, and accompanied by the whole extended family, celebrating with good food and a lot of chatting and laughing, the baby touches, after much preparation, the ground for the first time.  His or her little foot gently guided by the priest. The baby is now fully human.

Imagine, being considered a gift of god and being a god, goddess yourself for the first months of your life…now, wouldn’t that just be simply divine (excuse the pun….) how would you, as a parent treat a divine being, and would have been as a child yourself be treated as a god?  I imagine with love, care, respect, tenderness, reverence. And now imagine how that would change your own, I mean your own perception of you as a parent, of your child?

Ah, you have visions of spoilt children, right? It couldn’t be further from the truth. Those children, in both countries, are content, hardly ever cry, and are easy to be with, also when they are older. Of course they are naughty at times and need to be taught the rules. However, they do not whine and pester; their needs are taken care of, mostly immediately, but they are not catered to nor indulged. They are quite clearly expected to fit in with family life, in an easy and relaxed manner. This may sound as a contradiction at first. I have seen infants asleep on the shoulder of a shopkeeper father, being carried on the hips of a construction worker on his way home, and of course very often by the mother or other family member, young or old, female or male, in the Philippines as well as in Bali. As they are always carried, they simply experience belonging, being part of family life. No one ever tells the mother, “You feed your baby too often; you are spoiling your child; your milk is maybe not sufficient; it is dangerous for your baby to sleep with you in your bed.”

What a far cry from our own Western culture! From WHO (World Health Organisation) and other relevant organisations that concern themselves with health issues, we know that breastfeeding exclusively for the first six  months, starting to introduce solid foods gradually and keep on breastfeeding up to about the age of two years is considered optimal for short term as well as long term physical as well as psychological health. The way, I would like to point out, that LLL (La Leche League) has actually been promoting already for half a century. And yet we struggle with this way of feeding and being with our children. Why, when it all seems so very simple?

I think there are several reasons:

1. Most of us mothers have not been mothered and breastfed this natural way.
2. We live in a nuclear family, no mothers and fathers, aunts and uncles, no siblings or cousins are around to share our days with and to receive adult companionship and support from.
3. Ideas of needing to fit into schedules, timetables, weight charts, expectations of others are persistent.
4. There is the pressure of subtle commercial advertising.
5. One feels the need, for whatever reason, to go back to work outside the house (a stay-at-home mum works too! She simply is not ‘gainfully’ employed).
6. We do not live in a very supportive and accepting culture.
7. Mothers, actually parents, are insecure – they desperately want to do the best for their child, looking and searching for information, being inundated with often contradictory information.

The most difficult and nerve wracking of all this is, that in order to breastfeed with ease and comfort, and as such successfully, it is easiest when the mother feels relaxed, secure and supported.

What is a mother living in a western culture to do? If at all possible join an LLL-group. If that is not possible, seek another support group for mums or start one of your own.

Here are some suggestions for you in case you would like some information and support, feel insecure or even at your wits’ end.

1. Call a LLL-leader, to be found at www.stillberatung.ch. There are a number of English speaking leaders.
2. Know that “It is enough to be a good-enough mother.” (Donald W. Winnicott M.D.)
3. Ask yourself “What is the most loving thing I can do for myself right now?” And then do it!
4. Seek out people who are on your side, support and love you and avoid, at least for the time being, the people who criticise or question your attitudes, decisions and actions!
5. Eat well and remember to drink amply; every time you sit down to nurse your baby, drink a large glass of water.
6. Keep the communication between you and your husband open. Share your concerns, insecurities, anxieties, worries (no blaming, please!) and above all, share your joys, your wonders, your gratitude and your love!
7. Keep a daily gratitude journal.
8. Remember that in the West, too, a baby is a gift; not everyone is that lucky to be able to be parents.
9. Hug yourself several times a day :-).
10. Ask for help.
11. Don’t sweat the small stuff, and above all:
12. Enjoy your baby.

By Christina Hurst-Prager

Christina Hurst-Prager, mother of three, grandmother of nine, is Swiss and has lived in the US and UK. In September 1973 she brought LLL to Switzerland. She still does breastfeeding counselling and also works as an Emotional Freedom Technician (EFT) Practitioner in her own practice.

Illustration by Jen Bognar

Information in English about the La Leche League can be found here.