Go Ask Your Mom!
I know my children need their mother and me to help them learn all of life’s lessons. We will try our best to be there always, to help and guide our children through all stages of development. I also understand that as children age, they are influenced by friends and others outside of the family who are usually quick to offer thoughts and opinions. We will not always be at their sides, and realistically, we cannot force them to do the right thing anyway. When it comes to making tough decisions, it will ultimately be up to them to make the call.
So – love and lovin’. How does a father teach and influence his boys and girls? That is a good question. My oldest is just six years old, and I can only speak about what I hope will happen. I will find out soon enough when more questions start coming. One thing I plan to do is be honest, straightforward, and cognizant of what my child can or cannot comprehend. If we share facts versus our opinions, open our ears and do this early and always, we have a chance of seeing our children become strong individuals who think for themselves.
Education on the topic of sex starts much earlier than I first realized. I remember when this notion of being straightforward first entered my mind. I was at a playgroup with my then-two-year-old daughter, and somehow private parts came up. A mother said something like, “That’s the penis, boys have ‘em. Girls have vaginas.” At first I thought, “isn’t two years old a little young for a parent to be throwing out that kind of language?” I gave it some thought and came to the conclusion that we should indeed just call things what they are. They are not bad words.
We should talk about things honestly and use straightforward language. If we do, our children will have no reason to doubt us or wonder what we are really trying to say. Let’s welcome questions. If we, as parents, are uncomfortable with topics like sex or drugs or alcohol, kids will see that. If this turns our children away, and I think it does, where do they go for input and answers? I plan to be open and honest and ready for when the questions come.
By Brian Wilson
Brian is the father of three children. He teaches golf and coordinates a Zurich Dads’ group in his spare time.
Illustration by Susana Gutierrez
Susana is the mother of two little girls and a freelance illustrator. She also coordinates the Little Ladybirds English Playgroup near Triemli. She can be reached at s.escapa@gmail.com.
