Sweet Joys and Madness: Motherhood – What Can I Say?
Fathering is parenting as much as mothering is, but that doesn’t mean I am able to say what motherhood is like. I know it can be crazy, that’s for sure. Maybe the two are pretty much the same with a few big exceptions. There is no way that I will ever fully understand motherhood, but I guess it doesn’t hurt to try, right?
This may be hard to believe, but I once told my laboring wife, “Try to ignore the pain, just block it out with your mind,” or some stupid comment like that. Although I was trying to help, it just goes to show there are some things I cannot pretend to understand about motherhood. I quickly learned that in some situations I just need to be there, let my hand get crushed and keep quiet.
While my wife was struggling through the physically challenging times of labor, I thought I needed to say something. You know, to help. I guess I was trying too hard to find a miracle solution to help her get through. After seeing that look in her eyes following my awesome suggestion, I switched gears by reassuring her that her efforts were in fact working and she was making good progress. That feedback was positive, it was real, it was encouraging and it really wasn’t my place to say much else.
There seems to be a certain level of abuse that comes with being a parent; mothers and fathers alike. All parents deal with stress and the big emotional swings that occur in day-to-day life. And the noise, good god, the noise! Challenges like these may affect mothers and fathers differently, but it’s hard to say exactly how so. Every person is unique, and it is really difficult to say what this parenting thing is like to this mother or to that father.
What about being a mother 50 or 60 years ago? Life was totally different back then; how was mothering different? I am raising three (young) children in the modern world with modern conveniences, and I feel overwhelmed most days! When I think about raising eight children in the 1950s as my grandmother did, it blows my mind. Especially when you consider that mothers were pretty much on their own to deal with all of the domestic responsibilities. But perhaps mothering is roughly the same gig now as it was then, considering the extracurricular activities that exist today.
The roles of mothers and fathers have evolved over time and are more similar today than ever before. I have seen the sweet joys and the madness of a mother’s daily life. I still cannot pretend to understand everything that defines motherhood. Respect is all I can really say.
By Brian Wilson
Brian is the father of three children. He teaches golf and coordinates a Zurich Dads’ Group in his spare time. Email Brian at: bwilsoniag@gmail.com
Illustration by Laura Munteanu
Laura has studied Journalism and Advertising, and has been working as a journalist and an illustrator. She has been illustrating for magazines, websites, charity and different campaigns. She lives in Zurich with her husband and their six-year-old daughter.
