Life in German-speaking Switzerland

Is Everything in Order?

“Alles in Ordnung?”

I love this phrase! It is most often used to mean, “Is everything okay?” or “All right!” rather than the literal, “Is everything in order?” Essentially, though, that is the meaning. And the German-speaking Swiss are well known for their sense of order that can, for me, verge on the comical.

It is true that buses and trains are scarily punctual (pünktlich). Because of this, I have had to upgrade my watch from a cute Storm watch, where the hand pointed roughly at the time, to a big watch with the minute marks clearly visible, so I can tell EXACTLY what time it is. What has really led to my downfall in Pünktlichkeit has been the German way of stating the time. “Half three” (“halb drei”) does not mean 3:30; it means 2:30. Go figure! This has placed me in some highly embarrassing situations.

When I collect my daughter from kindergarten, I now always have my smart phone in my pocket. This would be helpful if and when the kindergarten doesn’t let the kids out on time (ha!), and it is definitely useful when play dates are requested. Often arrangements are made weeks in advance. What people did before portable calendars, I have no idea. Anyway, I suspect that the power of text messages to make and confirm dates, on top of everyone’s Google calendars, might help to make the Swiss Germans a tad more spontaneous. Maybe.

I have, so far, managed to avoid the heaps of paperwork that friends have told me accompany any major, official task (business, house buying and many rental agreements). I have, however, been on the receiving end of heaps of paper. Fortunately, we have paper recycling. This happens once or twice a month via roadside collection. When we first moved here, I was in awe at the amazing and precise art of some households’ paper recycling. It was in beautiful, tight bundles that managed to have straight sides and corners (do they even read their daily papers?). They have the air of a robotic form of recycling, all bound up with string. I tried this at first. Mine looked raggedy, but passable. As time went by, my style slipped. I started ramming the paper into Coop paper bags (other retailers’ paper bags also available!). If they were tied with string, it was a quiet week. This was the case until last month, when the truck failed to collect my disgraceful bags, and a large and embarrassing sticker was placed on the side to let me know that everything was most certainly not in Ordnung! My job this month is to go to Ikea and get a wire recycling holder to nudge all my papers into perfect regular order, so all will be well with the world, and the rubbish guy’s head won’t explode at the sight of my lame attempts at recycling.

Ordunug underpins life on the German side. There are rules. If you get away with breaking them, it’s fine, until it’s not. When it’s not, there is no wiggle room, and the fines and penalties must be paid. Yet this is the same the world over. Every country and region has a culture and a way of doing things. Then there are the people who live there, who have their own unique interpretations of the local way of doing things. This means you never know exactly what you will get (which can make expat life exciting and ever-changing): you may get a liberal Swiss German who is spontaneous, or you may not. The trick to staying sane is never, ever, to take it personally! It is not about you: it is about how strictly the other person sticks to society’s rules and how important he or she feels this is. Remaining flexible in the face of inflexibility is the best way to avoid conflict and stay stress free. I know that I am blissfully unaware of half of the rules here. I know that I will probably break a few more, and playing blond, dumb and English won’t work. I will try, of course, with a disarming smile. But when that doesn’t help, I will continue smiling as a pink payment slip is handed to me.

By Tammy Furey

Tammy is a parenting educator and coach based in St Gallen, who works with parents who have experienced a difficult event such as an accident, illness, difficult birth, post-natal depression, or relocation and wish to step out of their pain, anxiety, frustration and depression. www.fureycoaching.com

Illustration by Laura Munteanu

Laura has studied Journalism and Advertising, and has been working as a journalist and an illustrator. She has been illustrated for magazines, websites, charity and different campaigns. She lives in Zurich with her husband and her 5 year old daughter.