Tips (or Not) for the First-time Mum

No wonder I feel like I am going a bit crazy getting ready for the birth of my first child. It has taken me exactly eight months and three weeks to discover that it is impossible to prepare properly for what lies ahead. I have just a week left to relax in the knowledge that I don’t need to know everything. Finally. No wonder I am exhausted.

As a relatively new arrival in Switzerland, I have been in hyper-drive reading everything about all things baby. Did you know that there are almost 2000 books on Amazon on birthing alone? Insecure new and expectant mothers must certainly be on the radar for editors in the book-publishing world.

My Swiss husband has been patiently watching from the sidelines as I, with growing horror, discard one book after the other about the changes in my body and the ordeal of labour. He finally put his foot down and begged me to quit my Amazon habit after one book left me shell-shocked and wondering why we had gone the pregnancy route.

The problem was that I felt that I had a responsibility to my unborn child to be as informed as possible. It has been a humbling experience to move to a new country with no language skills or access to my normal support networks. I can see now the extent to which it has affected my confidence levels and ability to trust my intuition.

What I am learning, albeit belatedly, is that I need to run my own race in regard to the whole motherhood journey. It is not a good idea to compare my body or my experience with other women’s, as each person is so totally different from everyone else.

This was highlighted in a recent article in the UK’s Daily Mail, which compared the body shapes of pregnant women who are all due at the same time as the Duchess of Cambridge, formerly Kate Middleton. It was nice to get a reality check, even if it was delivered by an English media outlet obsessed with baby bumps and celebrity malfunctions.

The issue is that it simply doesn’t help to listen to birthing war stories or to read to the point of confusion and anxiety. The terror of pushing something that weighs as much as a bowling ball out a very small space is daunting enough.

My own two cents’ worth is very simple – take what you want and leave the rest. Really.

For us expectant mothers, I have narrowed it down to four basic areas that we need to know about. These are: the safety of the foetus, pain relief options during labour, the basics of newborn care and how to look after ourselves postpartum.

After that, perhaps it is best simply to surrender to the unknown and, as with the rest of life, just muddle our way through.